In This Week’s Show, episode 199, Jim joins us to de-woo some woo and quiz the panel on whatever Shea did. He won’t tell us. It’s not in the notes. Cross your fingers.
Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Pan, the ancient Greek goat fucking horn-dog of a god, hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying their patience!
Shea’s Life Lesson
This week I learned that in Disney’s 2004 princess diaries 2: the royal engagement Stan Lee made a cameo which indicates that Princess Diaries is a part of the Marvel comic universe. Therefore it’s a reasonable assumption than Mia Thermopolis, Princess of Genovia could defeat Thanos in the next film.
Jim’s Good Gay News
Did you know that circa WW2, asking if you were a “friend of Dorothy” was a common way to find out if someone was playing for your team? It was used for decades and in the 80’s, Naval Intelligence thought there was an actual woman named Dorothy who was at the center of a gay underground. Really they just needed to dangle Anthony Dinizzo
But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!
This Week’s Beer
Wheat | Backswing Brewing Co.
- BA Link: http://bit.ly/2MxDaki
- BA Rating: 3.63/5
- Style: American Pale Wheat Ale
- ABV: 5.6%
- Aaron: 4*
- Jim: 2
- Shea: 2
- Steve: 6
*I think there was something wrong with the can…
Aussie Ry Session IPA – Two Sergeants and Town Square Brewing
From Dod Snow
IPA – Rhy
- Aaron: 5
- Jim: 1
- Shea: 5
- Steve: 4
Fun fact about this beer – we had planned to do it post-200 but it has active yeast and the cans got a bit worm… and are damn near ready to explode. So… bottoms up!
This Week’s Show
Round Table Discussion
No new patrons.
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Witty, wonderful, and hilarious
This cast is perfect on every front. The beer reviews are on point. The news items are approached in ways I typically don’t consider. Despite some of the heady topics, they always manage to make the content hilarious . Well done!
Make sure you leave us some love at 513-760-0463 for episode 200. You only have a week left and we’d really like to roll in some feedback!
Steve – Do you love eggs? I personally am a big fan. When my wife doesn’t cook, there’s a good chance that I’m having eggs for lunch, dinner, whatever. However, there’s a limit, and a proper way to consume the eggs. Apparently, there’s a new way to go about it. First, take some GHB, or Gamma-hydroxybutyrate. Then boil a ton of eggs. Peel the eggs. And finally, shove all 15 freshly boiled eggs up your own arse. An unidentified man from the Netherlands did just this, and when he began feeling “unwell”, went to a hospital. The doctors suspected abdominal sepsis (no shit), so after a CT scan showed a perforation of the pelvic colon, they went in, cleaned him out, and he lived to stuff another day. http://bit.ly/2wybi4O
Fuck you homeopathy, Jim’s the only homo I need!
Well… Mr. Jim is pretty great too, he would be able to pronounce all the big scary science words in this story of homeopathic remedies that actually contain stuff. See, King Bio, North Carolina based manufacturer of homeopathic remedies accidentally included active ingredients in their line of children’s treatments, unfortunately, according to the FDA Pseudomonas brenneri, Pseudomonas fluorescens, and Burkholderia multivorans aren’t actually things you want in your treatments or your kids. Pseudomonas brenneri is a bacterium recently found in natural mineral waters, and its clinical significance is murky. However, Pseudomonas fluorescens is known to be an opportunistic pathogen, causing blood infections, and Burkholderia multivorans can cause infections in people with compromised immune systems and cystic fibrosis. It was also recently found to be a rare but emerging cause of meningitis. So there ya go. Not only will shaken water not cure you of things, it might literally fucking kill you.
Jim – http://bit.ly/2PPBlxg
A new investigation by the Telegraph has revealed that Facebook not only targeted LGBTQ users, they also sent them “gay cure” advertisements that have since been deemed “predatory.” It was discovered when users began clicking on the term “Why am I seeing this ad?” They were told Facebook noticed they were interested in “gender issues.” It lead you to a 9 minute creepy as fuck video where you listen to a cookie cutter quote-unquote “ ex-gay” telling the story of how he was leading the perfect gay life in Hollywood until he was saved by a table full of Bibles at their favorite diner. Combine this with Mark Zuckerberg’s lame ass excuse as to why he allows anti-semitic ads to run despite his Jewish-ness, and it really makes you wonder how long before we’ll see the new Utopian environment their touchy-feely apology video. I’m thinking a week before never.
Steve – Alternative health pages are disappearing from Facebook. Dozens of pages focused on holistic medicine or fringe medical beliefs have been excised recently as Facebook is apparently cracking down on pseudoscience. Over 80 accounts have been axed with titles such as Just Natural Medicine (1 Mil followers), Natural Cures Not Medicine (2.3 Mil), People’s Awakening (3.6 Mil), and a bunch of smaller pages too. The owners of the pages weren’t warned either, the pages just weren’t there one day. Now, it is a bit sad that there are a bunch of people now who are losing their livelihoods, and I may be callous, but I’m on the side of fuck you, woo-mongers, you’re hurting the world’s ignorant, gullible people. Some of the purveyors of bullshit have threatened to sue, but there’s little they can do. Facebook’s terms of service give them wide latitude, so they will have to move elsewhere. Now, if only the Goop would get removed too. http://bit.ly/2PSKRjm
It’s fake ass medicine day for patrons apparently…
I’ve talked about Black Salve before, it’s a fake cancer cure recommended by fake doctors so fake even most charlatans think of it as “fake snake oil.” The woman in today’s story, unnamed by request of her family, began smearing black salve on the underside of her boob to treat breast cancer. She then took to Facebook to share per progress pics, which you should never, ever look at! Eventually, she got some unsolicited good advice. In one of her final posts, with nearly a ⅓ of her breast consumed by burning, seeping, swollen, necrosis, she asked for help with the treatment, carefully ending with “and please no comments to see a doctor. I’ve been there. This is my path and I trust in it and my God who is healing me.” Sadly, she kept applying the Salve and refusing to see a doctor until it was far too late. She’s dead now. Black salve is a tar-like substance that kills tissue, and because magic is supposed to only kill cancerous tissue. Unfortunately, zinc chloride, creosote, bloodroot, ammonium salt – the most common recipe – don’t care about your wishes and just eats away your skin until you die of cancer. Don’t good the images. Seriously. Like for real don’t do it.
Aaron – Vaccinating Our Patrons
But what about real medical treatments you might be asking. Well, fuck that too apparently. Indonesia’s top Islamic council has officially released fatwa against the MMR vaccine, declaring it to be haram, because fuck you. It seems that they’ll let getting MMR slide until a version without prok and people DNA is made, but of course, vaccination rates have plummeted. Indonesian Ulama Council (MUI for some reason), chaired by Ma’ruf Amin, who recently announced he would be the running mate of Indonesian President Joko Widodo in the next presidential election, issued the fatwa. While not making them illegal, “If there’s an MUI fatwa opposing it, that will be a real obstacle to public health efforts,” Professor Tim Lindsey, the director of the Centre for Indonesian Law in the University of Melbourne, said. “We’ve found ourselves in a position where we have no choice … there has not been a vaccine found to be halal and sacred,” an MUI official told CNN Indonesia. He said the religious organization understood the dangers associated with not getting children immunized. CNN Indonesia reported that a number of towns had already suspended the vaccine before the MUI even announced their decision. Because dead and crippled children are better… or something…
This Week’s Stories
Shea’s super fun theme park quiz extravaganza!
Ken Ham’s isn’t the first nut bag to create a holy theme park. So today I have done what most hosts are afraid of, research, to find other religious theme parks from around the world. Today’s mission if you choose to accept is to learn about these fabulous parks and determine what religion they are pushing.
Situated in beautiful Grant County in Williamstown, Kentucky this park was built according to the dimensions given in holy scripture. Spanning 510 feet long, 85 feet wide, and 51 feet high, this modern engineering marvel amazes visitors young and old. Don’t miss the pre-flood battles between man and beast, the beast being dinosaurs and giants. Or zip over the park just like the holy men used to do, probably. Maybe even catch a glimpse of Emma Watson and a giant rock monster.
What Religion is being pushed? Ken Ham’s own breed of crazy Christianity.
Suoi Tien is the land with the Four Holy Animals, Dragon – Unicorn – Turtle and Phoenix, where peace and happiness that always bring luckiness to you and yours. This beautiful and colorful waterpark resides in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Families can enjoy waterslides at the artificial Tien Dong Beach, roller coaster rides, parades, a 4D theatre and an aquarium. Visitors can attempt the underground attraction called the Unicorn Palace, a walk-through tunnel that houses gory displays of the nine levels of Hell, such as humans getting ripped apart, eaten by various animals and dumped into boiling vats. Don’t miss a trip to Fairy Phoenix Palace, which will take visitors back in time to thirty thousand years ago. Sitting on a boat along the fanciful river, you will see the entire process of human evolution from the primitive times until the civilization today.
What Religion is being pushed? Buddhism; SuoiTienPark’s main theme to “return to roots of national culture” has created large, unique, rich projects evoking in visitors’ patriot, national pride of the Dragon and Fairy.
Tierra Santa is the first religious theme park in Latin America and a meeting place for Christianity, Judaism, and Islamism. A cultural and historical bridge, which represents the customs of each religion and transports the visitor two thousand years to the past to ancient Jerusalem. It has been inaugurated, blessed and declared “Center of unique evangelization, of cultural and spiritual enrichment.” The 17-acre park is a miniature holy city, complete with fake palm trees, centurions, and even a Wailing Wall. Mother Theresa mingles with Judas while crowds of people stroll through the sunshine giving sword-wielding Roman Guards high fives and a 40ft god rises from a mountaintop.
What Religion is being pushed? Christianity; the main attraction is the Holy Mount, where thousands gather every hour to watch a giant Jesus Christ statue rising into the sky to the sound of Handel’s Messiah. On Good Friday, the show features Jesus getting flogged on a pillar by a Roman guard, bleeding heavily, before a crown of thorns is placed on his head and he gets strung up on a giant cross in front of a stunned audience. But, after it’s all over, Jesus is happily being pictured with kids taking selfies.
Swaminarayan Akshardham ‘Akshardham’ means the divine abode of God. It is hailed as an eternal place of devotion, purity and peace. The theme park in New Delhi is a Mandir – an abode of God, a house of worship, and a spiritual and cultural campus dedicated to devotion, learning and harmony. Visit SAHAJANAND DARSHAN the hall of values where visitors walk into a world of values that can help change their lives and the world. Universal values like love, non-violence, fearlessness, service, humility, compassion, spiritual consciousness, honesty, unity and peace are displayed through a series of exhibits using animatronic figures, scenic representations and short videos. Make sure and stay for the Sahaj Anand – A breathtaking spiritual multimedia water show. Multi-color lasers, video projects, underwater flames, water jets and surround sound in symphony with lights and live actors produce a captivating and inspiring presentation of an important story.
What Religion is being pushed? Hindu; Swaminarayan Akshardham explores Hinduism’s values and traditions through a variety of media, from a large format film to a multimedia water show. What is shared is an informative and inspiring journey through an ancient culture’s glorious art, values, and contributions for the progress, happiness and harmony of all humans.
This is the Place Heritage Park is the Place for FUN all year round! Step back in time and see the West as it was in the early settlement of Utah. City kids will love riding ponies and meeting and petting farm animals. See the iconic Monument that was erected under the supervision of a committee composed of Roman Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Protestant, Jewish and Latter-day Saint representatives. Visit the Walk of Pioneer Faiths honoring early religious groups and leaders who contributed to the religious diversity of our great community. Visit the Native American Village, which celebrates the heritage of the cursed before the arrival of the settlers.
What Religion is being pushed? Mormonism; Apparently this is the place to settle down and grow your cult.
China Hui Nationality Cultural Park is being expanded as part of a plan to transform a dusty plain in central Ningxia province into a tourism mecca. The facility opened in 2005 but is less a religious experience than a large-scale promotional display for the country’s minority, the Hui. Hui is ethnically Chinese, politically compliant and speak Mandarin, which helps ensure government approval for the practice of a state-sanctioned version of their religion in what is officially an atheist country. Many of the attractions, such as the Arabian-themed dance and laser show, are either yet to be built or have been closed. Visitors wanting to take a look at the opulent Golden Palace have cross a stretch of churned earth busy with backhoes and dump trucks. The Hui Culture Park is heralded as an AAAA national tourist site, No 1 super theme park fantastic!
What Religion is being pushed? Muslim; According to Ningxia’s tourism bureau, the China Hui Culture Park is a “Sino-Arab cultural bridge” that can “promote all aspects of Sino-Arab exchange and cooperation.” The park achieves a monumental scale, with its sparkling edifices designed to evoke India’s Taj Mahal and Turkey’s Blue Mosque.
Thor’s Rike, the largest theme park in Norway. Here you’ll find everything from thrilling roller coasters to displays of an older life. The park is planned to be open by the spring of this year, whenever spring is in Norway. A world of heroes, trolls, and magic … Thrill and adventure … Gods and giants … Courage and deceit … Mythic beings and spectacular environments! In the courtyard, you’ll find incredible experiences everywhere. Cross the glittering bridge, connecting Harbour Village and the afterlife, and soon you’ll find yourself in the great hall where you have been invited to a spectacular Viking feast.
What Religion is being pushed? Norse; We welcome you to Thor’s Kingdom, where the Viking age returns back to life. Celebrate your own Viking-spirit that dwells inside you, with rides and rollercoasters, authentic shows on stage, eat like the Vikings did and try if you dare, to negotiate with them at their many stores.
Haw Par Villa formerly known as the Tiger Balm Garden – is an Asian cultural park in Singapore, the last of its kind in the world. The eclectic park is a treasure trove of Asian culture, history, philosophy, and religion – quirky yet enlightening, at the same time. on the signature red brick road, through the majestic entrance archway. Tigers, leopards, and dragons lurk in corners. Rolling hills and caves evoke contemplation and reflection. Elsewhere in the park, animals of all shapes and sizes beckon goats, pandas, rabbits, gorillas, giant lobsters, even a crab-lady. The best-known attraction in Haw Par Villa is the Ten Courts, which features gruesome depictions of people being thrown into a volcano, drowning in blood, being ground to dust by a large stone, and more!
What Religion is being pushed? Confucianism or Hell; The park contains over 1,000 statues and 150 giant dioramas depicting scenes from Chinese mythology, folklore, legends, history, and illustrations of various aspects of Confucianism and aspects of Hell.
Polynesian Cultural Center. Spend the day exploring the rich heritage of the Pacific Islands. Wander through 42 acres of tropical splendor and enjoy the adventure of traditional hands-on activities. Dine like royalty at an authentic Polynesian luau and top it off with the most spectacular evening show in the islands. As early as 1844, missionaries were working among the Polynesians in Tahiti and surrounding islands. Missionaries arrived in the Sandwich Islands (Hawaii) in 1850. By 1865, the Church had purchased the 6,000-acre plantation that encompasses all of Laie. Though the religious tones are quite muted at this park there is a visitor center for the church and all proceeds go back to the church as well.
Hint: They are closed on Sundays.
What Religion is being pushed, even if subtle? Mormonism; Seventy percent of the center’s approximately 1,300 employees are students at BYU-Hawaii. Everyone else isn’t white.
Pla’im Park — ‘Park of Wonders’ — is conceived as this country’s first real theme park, with educational value to boot. Located in Dimona, the southern town in the Negev desert better known for its nuclear reactor. The park has been designed by two holy men and Orlando-based ITEC, which built the Disney and Six Flags theme parks. Still in planning stage this park has yet to have an opening date. You can expect great attractions like The People of the Book Roller Coaster, built around a giant edifice in the shape of leather-bound books, and The Holy day Attraction, a Splash Mountain-inspired water ride which promises to “let the visitor experience the contrast between the craziness of modern life and the tranquillity of holy days”.
What Religion is being pushed? Judaism; “Jewish history is mostly sad – with the Holocaust and so on. But this will be a unique way for Jewish values and learning to become fun.
Sai Teerth this country’s first ever devotional theme park. Four immersive devotional experiences that combine devotion with technology and entertainment. Don’t miss the Lanka Dahan, a custom-built ride which is created in an uncompromising way to present an epic story with excellent filmmaking and the best of technology. It’s a perfect story befitting a true multi-dimensional simulation experience. All the special effects like water, wind, and fire are abundant in the story. Or enjoy the Teerth Yatra where ancient temples are pivots of worship and devotion, where millions of devotees visit to find peace and solace in their lives.
What Religion is being pushed? Hinduism; As the final attraction, get the divine blessings of Sai Baba with India’s first ever blessing experience created using animatronics and robotics – a humanoid show like never before. For an extra fee, they flip the switch and it turns into Tupac.
It’s Cult Time!
“Hyperianism” purports itself to be an intelligent group based on reason and logic that understands the harms of Abrahamic religions.
Which seems like a good idea, until you realize you’re taking the advice of a guy who calls himself “morgue” and recreationally sticks needles, drill bits, and whatever else he has laying around in this face meat.
Let’s roll the tape: (youtube) http://bit.ly/2NkCF9A
Seems he’s an ex-reality “shock artist” which is basically the same thing as being a circus freak in the 1900’s except now he has thousands of subscribers and adoring fans. His professional toolkit includes hooks, power tools, needles and billiard balls – all of which enter and exit different areas of his face and body. “I do all kinds of crazy things,” he acknowledges, not without a pride. “I like to tell people I’m called Morgue because if they tried what I try, they’d be in the morgue…”, but now he spends his time leading Hyperians through a “knowledge system” (as opposed to a belief system) that promotes pseudoscience surrounding a “mathematical reality.”
From the Hyperianism website by way of Friendly Atheist.
“Scientists like to pretend that they’re on the side of logic and reason when the opposite is true. They put their faith in the senses, and are just as dogmatic about it as a mainstream religious person.”
Morgue says Hyperians are “beyond human.” His website also states that “death is an illusion,” which is usually how people end up drinking death juice. Hyperians also seem to worship math. Unfortunately, it’s mostly quantum mechanical garbage language designed to sound intelligent while actually saying nothing. As Friendly Atheist points out, he’s like a Goth version of Deepak Chopra.
in order to become a member, you must buy his book, “Book Zero.” It is only sold for one hour in the day at certain times because fuck it why not. But hey, it’s bringing in new followers from around the world (at the time of Hemet’s writing he had 289,218 followers on Facebook and 85k on Instagram). Morgue seems to target college-aged individuals who are “disenchanted with religion and society,” according to Jared Hammer, who wrote what seems to be the only other article on Hyperianism for Uloop.
- uLoop: http://bit.ly/2oqsPsg
- Friendly Atheist: http://bit.ly/2C38tPf
Make sure you check out the Friendly Atheist Patreon page too! Cause let’s face it, at this point there’s an entire podcast movement that relies entirely on his fantastic coverage!
Next Week’s Beer
Fire & Fury | Half Hitch Brewing Company
- BA Link: http://bit.ly/2o4qgvx
- BA Rating: 3.9/5
- Style: American Amber / Red Ale
- ABV: 5%
Blood Orange IPA | TommyKnocker
From: Our Steve
- BA Link: http://bit.ly/2BCWIi8
- BA Rating: 3.73/5
- Style: American IPA
- ABV: 6%
Portersfield Dry Cider
From: James and Susan
- BA Link: http://bit.ly/2o2mX8a
- Untappd Rating: 3.7
- Style: Cider
- ABV: 6.8%
Faith In Humanity Restored
Gay Prom Couples Walk Home Takes A Surprise Turn After They Pass A Bunch Of Rowdy Bros
Mike DelMoro, a segment producer for Good Morning America, witnessed a group of rowdy guys at a bachelor party calling out to couples passing by, “Kiss her!” With some embarrassment the couples obliged and all was well. Harmless enough, right? Well when two young men passed, DelMoro became nervous wondering what the reaction from the party was going to be.
The couple, Theodore Vidal and his boyfriend, Colin Beyers were returning home from their first prom, still in their matching tuxes, when they came upon the bachelor party.
“A short thread from here in Seaside Heights, NJ, where—not so long ago—young men would shout the word “f****t” out their car window as we’d stroll along the boardwalk.”
“Last night, while out for Mother’s Day with our families (read: getting some late-night ice cream because treat yourself!) we noticed a group of rowdy bros gathered on a rooftop bar obnoxiously yelling “KISS HER!” in unison at every apparent couple that passed by.”
“It was quintessential “Jersey Shore” and, unfortunately, several couples obliged the request to raucous cheers thereby further encouraging the rowdiness. We rolled our eyes.”
It’s prom season here, so at that time of night, you’ll see high schoolers in their formal attire. As we walked by the rooftop bros, an adorable teenage gay couple passed us in perfectly fitting midnight blue tuxes, matching pink ties, holding hands.
I looked at Alec (my boyfriend), my mom, my sister, and stopped to make sure the couple was okay as they walked by… worried that something might happen. The rooftop crew quickly switched from “KISS HER!” To “KISS HIM!”
After some hesitation, the young men kissed… and let me tell you: both the rooftop crew and everyone else on the boardwalk just went absolutely wild for them and we all breathed a sigh of relief.
Omg… h/t to @JMiller_NJ for finding these two! Good for you being so brave and open Theodore and Colin! https://www.instagram.com/theodorevidal543 … https://www.instagram.com/colinbe123 pic.twitter.com/RidLuj3dUy
Another little update: I’ve heard from one of the “bros” on the roof (turns out I know a few of them… because, of course, it’s Jersey). He said they were up there for their friend Wilson’s bachelor party and they love this whole thing. “We are all very happy for those guys.”
Piggybacking off this update. One of the “bros” who encouraged Colin and Theodore to kiss said he knew what it felt like to be harassed or made fun of and told the teens to “never stop being themselves and to ignore those that seek to not allow that” https://bzfd.it/2C44fqG
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