In This Week’s Show, Episode 212, Jenn’s away so we ordered Chinese food and I’m pretty sure I ate one of Shea’s largely footed cousins.
Now, grab a beer and help us test the god hypothesis — because, while Jenn hasn’t struck us down yet, we are trying her patience… fucking constantly.
Shea’s Life Lesson
This week I learned that it’s inappropriate to ask the parents of a kid on a leash if it’s a rescue.
Jenn’s Actual Lesson
This week Jenn learned…things I’m sure. But we won’t hear about it ‘till next week. Don’t worry though, she read our notes and gave us the approval to proceed without her this week!
But before we get to all that, let’s have a beer!
This Week’s Beer
Jack Mormon Pale Ale
Donated By: Marie (Lonely Wyoming)
- BA Link: http://bit.ly/2AbXPBJ
- BA Rating: 3.4/5
- Style: Pale Ale
- ABV: 5.5
- Aaron: 6
- Shea: 6
- Steve: 4
This Week’s Show
Thanos visits to Uganda to preach to coked up swans
Round Table Discussion
As you no doubt noticed, Jenn is out of the studio tonight but sends greetings to you all. Hopefully, today’s iTunes reviews will bring her back from the brink of… well of not being here.
Love the beer reviews and… 5/5
The banter. Nice listening while drinking my own beer.
Faith in humanity restored… 5/5
In the desolate wastes of biblefuck nowhere in deepest, darkest, Trumpbekistan resides a group of sarcastic, mouthy, uncensored, beer swilling, gawd denyin heathens. And I love ’em! The 4wrath crew are smart, funny, and kind people who are living life the right way by supporting worthy causes, pissing off religious lunatics, and drinking beer! Listen to this podcast! Because while Marti, the Goddess of all things fabulous in Wyoming, hasn’t struck you down yet you are trying her patience.
– Sir HairyPalms The Blind
Satanic Temple and Netflix have come to a settlement regarding the suit the Satanic Temple brought against Netflix using their Baphomet Statue in the show Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. Details aren’t completely known, but according to Lucien Greaves, Netflix will change credits of the four episodes to acknowledge the unique elements of the statue.
HL1 – 20 years younger?
Listen to find out how! – http://bit.ly/2Ay2cHt
A 68-year-old retired man in the Netherlands has come up with an ingenious way to become 20 years younger. Dutch entrepreneur Emile Ratelband is hoping he will be able to change his date of birth from 11 March 1949 to 11 March 1969 after his doctors said he had the body of someone more than 20 years younger than himself. He argues that if transgendered people can change their gender then he should be able to change his age. Makes perfect sense, right?
Mr. Ratleband a self-professed self-help guru – who described himself as a “young god” – is taking action against his local authority after it refused to change his age on official documents.
“You can change your name. You can change your gender. Why not your age? Nowhere are you so discriminated against as with your age.” He claims.
Mr. Ratleband also claims that his legal age has had a negative impact on his employment opportunities as well as his love life.
He said: “When I’m 69, I am limited. If I’m 49, then I can buy a new house, drive a different car. I can take up more work.
“When I’m on Tinder and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.”
Mr. Ratelband, a media personality in his home country, said he would give up his pension if the courts ruled in his favor. The case has gone to a court in Arnhem, Gelderland, where it is expected to give a ruling within four weeks, minus 20 years I think.
HL2 – I Hope They Remember You – http://bit.ly/2TVYG2e
Thanks to the Time Stone Thanos isn’t relegated to killing half of everything currently alive. No, indeed he has the entirety of time to murder things and science has finally got around to recognizing the Mad Titan’s contributions to the K-T extinction – and maybe that will finally be enough to win over Lady Death, whose surprisingly-racked-for-a-skeleton affections he so desired that to woo her he murdered basically everyone he knew – including puppies – dissected his own mom and then genicided his entire planet… I guess Brolen didn’t have enough time to work in the finer details of courting the personification of death when there were environmental issues to be worried about… when he has the ability to alter reality for the more prosperous…[cough]
About 145 million years ago, or one snap for you Celestial folk, the Thanosouris Rex nobly roamed pre-wifi Brazil like a sucker. Kidding, the Thanosouris Rex is just what the internet is calling it but they are clearly correct, Thanos simonattoi sounds like the pumpkin-spice latte of world-enders. From the Paper:
In the present contribution, we describe a new abelisaurid (Thanos simonattoi, gen. et sp. nov.) from the São José do Rio Preto Formation, Bauru Group, Brazil (Upper Cretaceous). Thanos differs from other theropods by having a well-developed keel becoming wider and deeper posteriorly on the ventral surface; two lateral small foramina separated by a relative wide wall on each lateral surface of the centrum, and well-developed and deep prezygapophyseal spinodiapophyseal fossae.
Which, if I’m reading this correctly – and I may not be, that last bit was clearly ancient post-Earth Titanian-Eternal which wasn’t an elective when I was in school – it means the Thanosouris had a big ass but was almost much stronger than its peers like the Erosasourus.
HL3 – Red Means Stop – http://bit.ly/2ABUagq
I read a story this week about sexual harassment, but not a typical story. This one was focused on an aspect that I hadn’t thought about but probably should have been aware of. Specifically, I’m talking about harassment in businesses, but not by staff, but rather customers. The Mother Jones article spoke about a female restaurant owner, Erin Wade, who had done all she could think of to make a friendly, inviting place and by most measures had done a good job, even opening a second location. Then, back in 2015, one of her servers told her of a father dining with his family who had stuck his hand up her shirt as she was clearing the table. Turned out that many of her other staffer’s had similar stories.
After this creep’s actions, she and her staff got together to figure out what to do about it and came up with a really good plan. Quoting from the article:
“If a guest makes a server uncomfortable, she signals a manager using code words: “Yellow,” for unsettling looks or vibes, puts the manager on alert; “orange,” in cases of borderline sexual comments, like “I love that shirt on you,” indicates the supervisor will take charge of the table (though the tips will still go back to the server); and “red,” for overtly sexual comments or touch, gets the customer kicked out for good. “No one starts by reaching their hand down someone’s shirt,” Wade explains. “Red” incidents quickly decreased, and now they happen maybe once a year.”
The Washington Post published an op-ed from Wade, and other places started to follow the procedure and it seems to be helping. A major contributor to the issue is our country’s stupid custom of tipping. Servers typically make shit for money per hour and the bulk of their take-home via tips, which means if they want to get paid, they necessarily feel that they have to put up with shit. This puts the customer in a position of power that shouldn’t exist and propagates the problem. Only seven states mandate that tipped staff get paid full minimum wage which is a step in the right direction, but what we need is the system that exists pretty much everywhere else in the fucking world, where we just require that business owners just pay their staff directly and fuck off with the tipping.
HL4 – When Swans Attack – http://bit.ly/2AzluvZ
Earlier this year a pair of swans were forcibly removed from the pond they called home in Austria after a series of violent, escalating attacks to defend their nest from intrusive humans. Strangely though the swans weren’t biological parents, but appear to have been two gay male swans who had formed an inseparable bond – and the nest they were protecting didn’t actually contain eggs or chicks but at least one colorful plastic cup. This fact didn’t seem to deter the doting dads who treated the responsibility of protecting their plastic proxy with dangerous, almost deadly seriousness.
Last summer, the pair were known to approach people and boats and display aggressive gestures, but this year the attacks “reached a new dimension”, according to the mayor of Grundlsee, Franz Steinegger, in the Austrian state of Styria.
“They have thrown themselves on the swimmers, trying to submerge them, that was the biggest danger, ” Steinegger told local news.
While nobody drowned, numerous bathers and people simply strolling beside the lake are reported to have suffered attacks – and some of them were serious. Several swimmers in fact required hospitalization, with one of them receiving a deep flesh wound to the head courtesy of the guardian geese.
Mayor Steinegger was set on solving the problem without signing a death warrant on the protective couple. Luckily, the mayor found animal wildlife expert Alexander Groder, who with his wife, runs a wildlife sanctuary specializing in difficult animal rescue situations. Groder and his wife were able to remove the swans from the lake and has transported them to a special pond without boundaries in the state of Tyrol in Austria’s west. There was no word whether their colorful plastic progeny was able to make the trip as well but at least the couple will be able to live in relative peace in their new home.
This Week’s Stories
The answer might surprise you… if you have a vagina… and live in the Matrix… and also it depends on how far from the Earth’s core you are… and also how far from god you are. And also if you’re menstruating. There are a lot of variables. Also, cesium.
This week was exciting for people who measure things. In Versailles, France this week 60 delegates from countries gathered at the 26th General Conference of Weights and Measures.
After decades of groundbreaking-according-to-nist.gov research, they voted to recalibrate the kilogram, ampere, Kelvin, and mole measurements. “This is really a pivot point for humanity,” noted Jon Pratt, who has been a longtime researcher and supervisor for the NIST group working to redefine the kilogram with nature’s fundamental laws. “We can now measure everything more accurately using knowledge of how the universe operates at the atomic level than we can use objects we can see and feel.”
In a nutshell, on May 20th, 2019, or World Metrology Day, we will stop defining the kilogram against a metal ball someone made and start measuring it against universally equal quantum phenomena similar to the way we define the second – which is 9,192,631,770 natural oscillations of microwave radiation released my cesium. Duh.
Ampere will now be based on the constant for the charge of the electron. The Kelvin will be based on quantum-level measurements of atomic motion as tied to the Boltzmann constant as related to atomic motion, as well as on the Planck and cesium frequency constants. And the mole will be based on an improved value for Avogadro’s constant.
But how does that relate to god’s judgment of your period?
Well, for that we need to understand a few things. Sciency things.
First, the concept of a gravitational matrix. The matrix theory of gravity is actually pretty much identical to Einstein’s theories and, disappointingly, does not help you dodge bullets or jump over buildings. Briefly, if you’re further from Earth you get less gravity. For example, using the standard measurement of gravitational acceleration (g=9.80665m/s2) on Mount Nevado Huascaran in Peru, where gravity is at its lowest point, registered 9.7639m/s2. Likewise, the surface of the article ocean gravity measures 9.8337m/s2. A difference of 0.7% Which, if you weigh 100kilos, you’ll gain or lose as much as 7 grams. This might seem amazing and technical, but it doesn’t explain why women can’t enter the Sabarimala temple. For that, we need to look to Dr. Subramanian Swamy, a Rajya MP from the BJP party. The first step here is realizing that those 7 grams are menstrual blood made of pure non-Newtonian evil. You might not know this but the gravity matrix isolated over the Sabarimala temple is so extreme it will cause menstruating women spontaneously develop random, massive, genetic mutations. And not the X-Men kind.
Because as we all know, menstruation causes gravity to go all caddywompus on your DNA, thereby modifying your molecular weight probably, which in turn causes terrible, cancerous mutations maybe.
Which means Dr. Swamy is actually looking out for the ladies when he says “[denying] admission of women in menstruation period in Sabarimalai was to protect the women from mutation from the gravitational matrix” continuing, “the gravitational matrix in the said temple can affect pregnancy“.So, just to be safe ladies, you should probably not go to the Sabarimala until we figure out exactly how much weight this nutters ideas carry in the area…
This Is Why The JWs Knock First…
- Christian group upset after invasion fails off the coast of India.
- Story recommended by various listeners
This past week a self-proclaimed adventurer and missionary, kind of like an Indiana Jesus, John Allen Chau attempted to invade North Sentinel Island, in India’s southeastern Andaman and Nicobar Islands. I suppose invade is a harsh word but what else would you call someone illegally entering a protected island for the sole purpose of making the native inhabitants conform to his beliefs. The 27-year-old American came to India on a tourist visa but came to the islands in October with the express purpose of proselytizing.
Dependra Pathak, Director General of Police of the Andaman and Nicobar islands, told CNN, “We refuse to call him a tourist. Yes, he came on a tourist visa but he came with a specific purpose to preach on a prohibited island,” Pathak said.
The island, North Sentinel Island, is inhabited by the Sentinelese people, who are protected under Indian law. Just more than a dozen people are officially thought to live on the remote island in the archipelago. The Sentinelese people are one of the last tribes on the planet that have refused any interaction from the outside world. As such very little is known about them. Due to their island’s isolation, they are extremely susceptible to many common viruses, such as influenza and measles. For both the inhabitants’ protection and the safety of outsiders, it is against Indian law to travel within 3 miles of the island.
Though apparently, these rules don’t apply when God is the one you’re working for. Chau was unfortunately and expectedly killed shortly after his arrival on the island by the tribe that saw him as a threat. I say expectedly because it’s not a new action for the tribe, in 2006 they killed a pair of fishermen who got stranded on their island and have always had very tense relationships with anyone attempting interaction.
Now the International Christian Concern, a nonprofit organization that “exists to relieve the suffering of the worldwide persecuted church”, wants the tribe to be charged with murder. The following is from their official press release:
“We here at International Christian Concern are extremely concerned by the reports of an American missionary being murdered in India’s Andaman and Nicobar Islands.
“Our thoughts and prayers go out to both John’s family and friends. A full investigation must be launched in this murder and those responsible must be brought to justice.”
What the hell?! Murder? Since when are any of those villagers bound by American law? Since when in the history of ever can they be tried by our court system? And why the hell isn’t Chau being held accountable for his own reckless and self-serving behavior?
Already Indian officials have arrested seven people who helped Chau get to the island but ICC is set that it religious persecution is the main enemy here.
We should perhaps think about those back he that put him on this path. Chau went to “share the love of Jesus,” said Mary Ho, international executive leader of All Nations, a Kansas City, the Missouri-based organization that helped train Chau, discussed the risks with him and sent him on the mission, to support him in his “life’s calling,” she added.
“He wanted to have a long-term relationship, and if possible, to be accepted by them and live amongst them,” she said.
Well he is going to be there for a while, authorities are unsure how to proceed and it is unknown if they will be able to retrieve the body.
Women change the world with sex
Recommended by Melony – http://bit.ly/2TXnSFJ
Ugandan women turn to sex work to help with housework. In an amazing show off feminism and cunning, a small movement of wives in Uganda has grown to tens of thousands strong in a short few years.
School Teacher Annet Nanozi was mad at her husband. A vehicle mechanic, he was refusing to help raise their four children. She realized he was instead spending his paycheck on alcohol and his time sleeping with barmaids. The 34-year-old decided to teach her husband a lesson. Now, when he comes home and wants sex, he needs to pay her first.
It’s a controversial strategy, but it’s picking up across Uganda, as increasingly emboldened women — backed by rights organizations — battle a patriarchal society where responsibilities and moral norms are both skewed against them. What started out with isolated instances in the capital, Kampala, has exploded into a tactic more and more Ugandan women are employing to get their husbands to pay up for household expenses and atone for refusing to take on home chores. This small movement started with a scant hundred or so women and in three short years ballooned to more than 31,000 reported women using the strategy. Uganda’s government-owned newspaper, The New Vision, reported on how what “started as a joke” is now “a reality.’”
For many women, the penalty or tax is as much about respect as it is about money. To Beatrice Atim, a vendor at Masaka market, 120 kilometers west of Kampala, it’s in part a way to get her husband to stop taking her for granted. Her husband, she says, would leave for work early in the morning, often without giving her money for expenses and expecting her to perform all household chores. After hearing about other women charging their husbands for sex, she decided to try it too. She demands that he pay 10,000 shillings ($3) if he wants her to have sex with him. It worked. “He accepted and he pays me without any quarrel because he knows that the money is to be used at home,” she says.
The amount of women participating in the movement is creating real social change with many men beginning to understand the plight that faces women every day. Unfortunately, it has also polarized many men and resulted in domestic abuse in the household. In a country rife with domestic abuse towards women there is a long hill still yet to climb with 18 percent of women polled agreeing that women should be hit if she refused sex. Women’s organizations know the scales are loaded against wives. The Mothers Union is trying to tutor women, through its branches across the country, to first explain to their husbands that the demands are in the family’s interests — and not a challenge to men.
Activists are clear that if anything, it’s unfair to expect a woman to enjoy sex with a man who doesn’t pay the family’s bills. Not anymore.
Next Week’s Beer
Dogfish Head India Brown Dark IPA
- BA Link: http://bit.ly/2AcaO6l
- BA Rating: 4.09/5
- Style: American Brown Ale
- ABV: 7.2
Faith In Humanity Restored
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